COPING WITH TURBULENCE

A few strategies for coping with conflict situations in relationships with superiors, partners, family, business colleagues,  and friends. These are only suggestions. They may not apply to you or your situation. Pick and choose. Or ignore them all.

THE  7 “C’S” IN CONFLICT SITUATIONS:

There are times when it is best to reduce your attempts to:

  • Change others

  • Correct others

  • Convince others

  • Challenge others 

  • Criticize others 

  • Convert others

and:

  • Cease pursuing your expectations of others.

(There are also times when it is appropriate to do each of these, although “converting” others could be debated. One way or the other, we all must make an effort to accept others. Except when they turn to wrong-doings.)

 “Let It Go:” 9 Points

  • Let go of disappointment .

  • Let go of affronts.

  • Let go of verbal offence. 

  • Let go of one’s inner anger. 

  • Let go of frustration. 

  • Let go of insult. As in the martial arts, let it pass you by. 

  • Let go of rejection.

  • Let go of one’s own bad moods and negative energy. 

  • And the most difficult of all: Let go of betrayal.

Do your best to let go of these hurts, insults and injustices and move on to pursue your freedom, your passions, and your mission in life.

Full Stop On:

  • Full stop on negative emotionality.

  • Full stop on indulging in one’s own frustrations.

  • Full stop on one’s own irritability.

  • Full stop on “tit for tat” mentality.

  • Full stop on bitterness.

  • Full stop on revenge.

  • Full stop on anger.

(Unless it is to the point, and you can quickly let go. Or it is necessary for momentary self-defense)

Come back when you are composed. If necessary, apologize for your emotionality or your error. Then communicate what you need to say in a manner that is calm. Keep your words short. Speak in the first-person:  “I felt, I understood, I thought…” and avoid talking in the “second person:” “you did, you said, you meant…”  For example, preferable is: “I was disappointed when…” instead of “you hurt me….” Or:  “I do not feel understood…” rather than: “You don’t understand me…” It may be difficult to change this, but, in the end, one saves a lot of time and energy.